Our relationships define our lives. From our romantic relationships to the relationships we have with our parents, children, colleagues and even inanimate things like money, cigarettes, and habits, relationships are truly connected to every aspect of our lives.
The quality of the relationships in our lives can have a profound effect on how we think and feel, both positive and negative. In a positive sense, even when we are not around our partners or families, we can still feel loved and comforted knowing there is someone out there who cares about us. In a negative sense, relationships can hurt us, leave us feeling uncared for, unloved, and unimportant and be the cause of much suffering.
Through my 25+ years of work as a psychotherapist and hypnotherapist, I have found that one of the key influences on people’s relationships is their childhood experience. A painful childhood experience, or a decision you made in childhood about your worth, can affect your relationships significantly. In some cases, the debilitating effects of a childhood trauma never go away and weigh people down throughout their whole lives.
Knowing this, however, means there’s hope for healing your unhealthy relationships. As an example, Mary came to me looking for help with her marriage. At age 45, she had been married for 15 years and had a child with her husband. Still, she felt like her relationship with her husband was coming apart. Even though they lived in the same house, they were living their lives separately. They fought over little things and blamed each other for their unhappiness. He would respond to her with anger and she would always end up in tears.
Mary’s situation is, sadly, all too common. It’s easy to get stuck in a rut, but it’s not necessary to stay there. Healing old wounds and changing old decisions is possible but we first have to resolve our relationships with parents, caretakers and with ourselves. Without loving ourselves, we cannot hope to love others. The key to this is learning how to make peace with the events of our pasts. All of our thoughts—and as a result, our actions—come fundamentally from how we interpreted the experiences in our past. The good news is that there is a way to heal past events, learn our lessons, and move on to live healthier and more prosperous lives.
When Mary first came in to see me, she could not understand why her marriage was so broken. Working with the Relationship Code process, we discovered that whenever Mary and her husband fought, it triggered the same anger and self-judgment that she had felt as a child when her father had overreacted to her. I was able to help Mary forgive her father and mother. Mary also forgave herself for this perceived inadequacy. By forgiving herself and her parents, Mary was able to transform her relationship with her husband.
After her session, whenever Mary thought of her husband, it was with love. She could finally open up to him and as a result he could open up to her, both of them caring for, accepting and loving one another once more.
As outlined in my latest book, The Relationship Code: Heal Your Wounded Heart, healing relationships is not just possible but essential for anyone wishing to fulfill their potential and live the life they desire. When you resolve your issues from the past and forgive yourself and others, you become empowered to live the life you want and achieve the success and loving relationships you desire.
To explore this further or if you have any questions call us at 416.760.8996 or send us an email: debbie@hypno-healing.com for your free consultation.
